Eliminate the Reason, Focus on Experience

This week I am pleased to bring you a guest post from a professional acquaintance, Larry Nitardy. We were supposed to be talking about something related to small businesses in small cities, but instead we got to talking about happiness. He loves igniting the passions of small business owners to create their best happy life. I love writing about my passions in creating a more happy life. Synergy. Larry told me that he wanted to give blogging about happiness a try and he knocked it out of the park! Bravo, Larry! -Meghan

“Be happy for no reason, like a child. If you are happy for a reason, you’re in trouble, because that reason can be (cast upon, or) taken from you.”

-Deepak Chopra

Our memory truly does play tricks on us, particularly as it relates to filtering out reasons and focusing on experiences. I find this phenomenon to be present with the general population, but especially when I hear the memories & stories of those of us who served in the military. It always amazes me how Veterans can remember so many happy times, happy memories of those years. Stories are often told about those times as if they were wonderful, but in the years those memories were created they couldn’t wait to get back home. The same can be true for civilians in our everyday lives and everyday struggles.

What might be the impact of a “memory-like” filter on each new day?

Our memories, our reasons, can often be the cause of sadness and pain. Some reasons leave us with an expectation of positive experiences, which is where most of our happy resides. Relying on this memory-like filter is a hard task; looking for, expecting happy only when certain conditions are met.

What might be the impact of amplifying experiences and eliminating reason?

We could potentially generate more happy for ourselves by filtering out reason and focusing only on experiences. After all, there is plenty of reason to dwell on. Having such interpretive minds, we always seem to want to know the “why” for our feelings. We can’t always control it, but we can control our part in the experience.

How can I create more happiness?

In one week, I learned that:

  • a 48-year-old friend passed away of an aortic aneurysm
  • my 80-year-old uncle was placed in hospice and then died shortly thereafter
  • my  middle-aged cousin was told he had leukemia with a 6-month life expectancy.

That is a lot of sad reason for one week for sure. But I choose to focus on experiences to create more happiness.

  1. I learned from the mother of my friend’s son of the huge love and amazing impact my friend had made on the 22-year-old young man. That knowledge made me even happier of the experience of knowing him than the sadness of losing him.
  2. My uncle’s burgeoning pain was horrific, and I’m happy that he isn’t experiencing that pain today.

3. My cousin decided to magnify his own happiness by dwelling on the opportunity of experiences.

“I have a chance to go to Houston for a series of tests and opinions. Everyone has warned me there is little hope, except for a miracle. I can go to Houston for three weeks and be tested; jabbed, poked, and perhaps die there where I don’t know anyone. Or I can stay here, visit with my family and friends, sit by the pool and watch our garden grow.”

I’m betting he doesn’t go to Houston; he is looking at the opportunity of possible experiences instead of the reason of his impending fate. He’s focusing on amplifying his happiness.

We cannot control the reasons.

Essentially we cannot control the reasons, but we can control the experience we extract from our memories. Our calling should be to focus on our experiences.  If we focus on the experience, focus on the happy, we can amplify our happiness. We can stop utilizing our memory filters and start eliminating the reason. Our commitment should be to focus on the experience.

Watch your garden grow! Be like a child, try happy without a reason.

Can you think of a time when you let your reasons stand in the way of your happiness? Do you think you could have turned your situation around by focusing on your experiences instead?

LarryCrazy about helping others find their passions and put them to work in their daily lives, Larry spends his time finding and helping people whose dream is to create a “wow” impact on others. As founder and President of ComAssist, Larry works with individuals, start-up companies, small and mid-size firms to achieve their happiness by transforming their passions into actions, experiences at the center of all they do. You can find Larry on Twitter, and at www.comassistky.com. His mobile number is 423 312-3439.

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